Some of the things that are on my mind



How Vegas parallels my life; what I feel, what I think, distractions, sacrifice, pursuit of pleasure, what I really want…more on this when I feel like getting this out. Just didn’t want to forget what I was thinking about…it was a great realization for me…I’ll get back to this..inspiration/tipsyness 

food plan

http://www.holisticonline.com/ayurveda/ayv-vata-food-plan.htm

Ayurveda

I’ve managed to stumble upon another philosophical system that I feel might assist me in creating a nutrition plan for myself.

What is Ayurvedic medicine?

Ayurvedic medicine evolved in India, and is considered to be the world’s oldest healthcare system. It is named for the Sanskrit word Ayurveda, meaning the “science of life.”

http://www.holisticonline.com/ayurveda/ayv-basis-tri-dosha.htm

www.flavorofhappy.com

Dosha (dosh´ah) according to the principle of constitution of the physical body in Ayurveda, is one of the three vital bioenergies (vatapittakapha) condensed from the five elements; the doshas are responsible for the physical and emotional tendencies in the mind and body. The attributes of the doshas and their specific combination within each individual help determine the individual’s physical and mental characteristics (prakruti), while imbalance among the doshas (vikruti) is the cause of disease.

There are three doshas:

Vata

Cold / Light / Dry / Irregular / Rough / Moving / Quick / Changeable

Vata is the “wind” or “air” that causes movement in our bodies. It’s associated with our nervous system and the process of elimination.

Location: Heart, head, brain, lings, ears, nose, tongue, larynx, umbilical region, throat, stomach, intestines, rectum, large intestine, bladder, organs of generation, and thighs

 Vata with bitter, pungent and astringent foods

 Vata with sweet sour and salty foods

Personality Traits

If vata dominates your doshas, you’re all about movement and change. You’re energetic, creative, lively, and enthusiastic. You love excitement and new adventures. You also take initiative and are a great conversationalist. You get angry quickly but you also forgive just as fast.

Unbalanced: worrisome, anxious, insomnia

Physical Traits

If vata dominates your doshas, you likely have a thin, light frame. Your energy comes in bursts and so does fatigue. You have dry skin and hair and cold hands and feet. You tend to sleep lightly and have a sensitive stomach.

Unbalanced: weight loss, constipation, hypertension, arthitis, weakness, restlessness, digestive challenges

Pitta

Hot / Light / Intense / Penetrating / Pungent / Sharp / Acidic

Pitta controls digestion, metabolism and energy production. Its main function is transformation.

Location: Duodenum, liver, spleen, heart, brain, eyes, and skin

 Pitta with sour, salty and pungent foods

 Pitta with sweet, bitter and astringent foods

Personality Traits

If pitta dominates your doshas, ow, your’re on fire. You’re smart and have the ability to concentrate. You’re precise and often, outspoken so you typically make great teachers, speakers, and decision makers.

Unbalanced: short-tempered, argumentative

Physical Traits

If pitta dominates your doshas, you are likely of medium build and weight. Bright red hair, balding or thinning of hair is also common. You tend to be warm and have a great

Unbalanced: weight loss, constipation, hypertension, arthitis, weakness, restlessness, digestive challenges

Kapha

Heavy / Slow / Steady / Solid / Cold / Soft / Oily

Kapha is the fluid or lubrication of the body as well as the protection. It holds cells together to form muscle, bone, fat, and other components of the body.

Location: Stomach, Thoracic cavity (heart and lungs), Root of the tongue, throat, skull and brain, and joints

 Kapha with sweet, sour, and salty foods

 Kapha with bitter, pungent, and astringent foods

Personality Traits

If Kapha dominates your doshas, you tend to enjoy life as it is and are comfortable with routine. You’re strong, thoughtful and loving as well as loyal and steady. However, you tend to hold onto people, jobs, situations, and things longer than you should.

Unbalanced: resistance to change, stubbornness

Physical Characteristics

If kapha dominates your doshas, you tend to have a compact, strong build. You also have large, soft eyes, thick hair and smooth skin. You have regular digestion and sleep pretty well.

Unbalanced: overweight, excessive sleep, ashtma, diabetes, depression

Vikriti (vi·kri·tē),

n in Ayurveda, the prevalent imbalance in dosha that is the cumulative effect of imbalances and impurities present in an individual. Ayurveda aims at rectifying vikriti to restore the prakriti

Vikruti test numbers:

Vata - 54

Pitta - 24

Kapha - 22

I am Vata imbalanced heavily.

Prakriti /pra·kri·ti/ (prŭ´kre-the) [Sanskrit] according to Ayurveda, a person’s underlying characteristic physical and mental constitution and tendencies of expression.

Prakruti test numbers:

Vata - 67

PItta - 16

Kapha - 17

This is essentially my balance.

After testing, it recommended some foods to me to correct my imbalances that I am going to link in another post for easy reference.

It’s really interesting to me that in this week that ended with my parents’ anniversary the three girls I’ve liked the most have somehow been involved in my life…AS, MB, and SD…it’s crazy to me how it all ended up happening. Just had to document this. December 15th with Stace was a special day.

What a fucking relief lol

I was wondering why the fuck my baby was being so distant with me this week…she was on her cycle. I survived the beast that is her moodiness. I endured so much this week…my patience was pushed to the limit. Should have known LMAO. The conversation I had with her tonight gives me great hope LOL. I just wish she had told me before instead of making me go through the agony that is wondering why the fuck she was avoiding coming over to my house. It’s on and poppin now. That was just the relief I needed. Stability, maintaining…it feels good to be in a place where I am not worrying about a bunch of shit. My bills are paid, my house is clean, my laundry is folded, my refrigerator is stocked full, and I have the attention of this gorgeous girl…it’s exciting. She’s faithful despite my being insecure about her, and we have made it past all of our little fights. She wants to keep rocking with me and it’s such a liberating feeling. I worry about losing her…I know that I am not the only person that she thinks is attractive…I can’t stand the idea of putting effort into someone and getting used. I don’t want to invest in someone unless I can be sure that it’s worth it. No one wants to have feelings for someone that aren’t returned. I’ve been single for most of college…not wanting to make that investment, telling myself it’s better to just not worry about it, to go out and have fun when I want to and focus on myself. I really believe that this girl is worth my effort. I want to keep her happy and keep her wanting me…I’m being myself and she likes who I am. Worst case scenario, I had some great times with a beautiful girl, learned a few lessons, gave back to my community (lol)…I have nothing to worry about

Practice is everything - Periander

D: -> :D

I got written up at work today for being late. They couldn’t find a single thing to bitch at me for during the day so of course they would do that right before I left. It’s funny how awkward it was for him to give me a warning for being late, then proceed to praise me for doing a great job today. A customer today literally walked up to me and handed me five dollars thanked me and went on about how much they enjoyed it. I understand how service works and I make the people I talk to feel like they are really being taken care of. It’s not rocket science lol. My manager knows I’m one of the only individuals in there that isn’t fucking stupid lol…I’m definitely the fastest and most efficient person he has. It’s so annoying that he crutches on me to save us when we get busy, “oh Boykin will get it” or but would go out of his way to give me a write up. What an asshat…he totally didn’t have to do that. Acting like it causes problems when I’m late…shut the fuck up lol…there wasn’t anything going on when I got there. Bitching just to bitch. I completely understand that I should be on time, but for you to make this big a deal of it when we were clearly caught up and fine is pretty weak. I do everyone else’s work anyways…worthless human beings lol. I was assigned lemons and kids cups today, and I finished that shit so early that I literally had nothing to do. They see me overachieving everyday and actually trying and instead of praising me they find nitpick reasons to knock my performance. I don’t make mistakes there, ever. I put actual effort in…why be there if I’m not going to do what’s asked of me? I’m there to work. I am so precise with everything…whether it’s racking chips, slicing lemons, cleaning glass, preparing catering, rolling silverware…surgical precision and unmatched speed with everything I do, and I memorize numbers/orders like a champ and help the people around me too when I can. I take pride in the shitty work that is Newks. I actually try for this place, and this cock sucker wants to bitch at me because I was 2 minutes late on a Sunday morning. So fucking irritating. I’m glad this isn’t my life’s work, I don’t think I could take doing this for the rest of my life. I find peace in the idea that this is just another stop on my journey to greatness, something that is temporary rather than everlasting (lol). I think the purpose of this job in my life is to give me practice at speaking with strangers, and at dealing with people. That’s the way I’m choosing to see it. It’s another opportunity to work on myself, and learn how to deal with people. Getting better at anything takes practice and repetitions. I remember when I first started at which Wich every single time I got on the register I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I was going to fuck up somehow, I wouldn’t know how to answer a question they had, etc. Now it’s effortless, I honestly feel confident doing it. In just a year I’ve gotten better. I can tolerate anything that I could possibly experience at my job. So often the people I work with do things that are irritating, but I just let it go and smile. It’s better for my soul than staying mad. I’m not even mad about what I initially started writing about lol. I can’t help what my boss chooses to do. I’m gonna take the positives that I can from this. I am happy for the opportunity to work, and I will continue to put effort into my job and try to be helpful even if it’s not rewarded or even acknowledged. I will continue to try to make the most out of this “opportunity” lol

Self worth: something that I have very little of. I always beat myself up; if anything happens, it’s my fault. My whole life I’ve felt like I was less than the people around me, when it has simply not been true. I try so hard to make other people feel good around me, and I tolerate so much shit that I don’t have to take. I let other people shit on me because I want them to be happy over pursuing what I want. I would choose to suffer quietly to help someone else rather than pass on helping someone. I am selfless and I need to be selfish. I am the prize. I am tired of settling for less than I deserve for myself to help someone else. I never even consider what I want to do, it’s always about trying to please someone else. It’s always we can do what you want to do, or it’s fine I’ll take care of it or, I feel like I should do this for you even though I have no business doing that. My standards for myself are so high that my sense of self worth is terrible because I am not achieving the things that I know I can socially. I am weak. I give in every single time and I let people whose opinions aren’t made in my interest affect the way I act. I care so much about how people perceive me that it makes me worry about how they will respond to what I am doing. I am trying to care less, I am trying to not worry about what other people think so much. I worry about my girl, I worry about what people think of me, if they will like me…I always try to act in a way that makes people like me. I want to be admired and liked by people, but placing this much importance on their opinions is counter productive. It makes me think endlessly about what I should be doing in social situations. I live in my head, observing wondering what I should do, or “if it’s right to take a social swim”. What the fuck am I scared of? What someone might think about me? Someone else’s irrelevant opinion? I can’t help what people think…some people are going to like me, some won’t. For it to have importance in my life to the point where it’s dictating my actions and the way I feel, it’s something I need to let go of. I should be able to walk into any place and feel comfortable with myself. I shouldn’t be worrying about what they might think of me. It’s really not important. The things I make up in my head, about what they could be thinking…about how they are perceiving me…I worry about it too much. Is it any wonder I feel anxious sometimes when I let myself think like that? It’s all in my head. How could any of those people possibly know anything about me or my worth? I am worth more than I give myself credit for. I have to change the way I think. My thoughts about the situations I am in are part of the problem. I feel like I have to please someone with my actions. I am too reserved and filtered. I am too worried about if they will accept me or what I might have to say. I’ve conditioned myself to worry and that what they think matters. Now I have to put in the work that it takes to reverse this. I have to affirm myself and counter those thoughts in my head when they arise. I am doing better and I am getting better everyday. At work, I am forced to talk to people in situations like this everyday. I am becoming more confident. People give me money and tell my boss that I’m really nice and when I bus girls leave tips and I’ve even gotten a couple of phone numbers without asking. I am not ashamed to admit that I get anxious/nervous sometimes, and that I have low self esteem. This is not who I want to leave Earth as, the person that I currently am right now. I have to work at becoming the person I want to be, someone that is confident and secure in myself in all situations. I am here now, today, as I am right now. This is where I am. I refuse to do anything less than put in whatever work it takes to feel better about myself. I have no reason to beat myself up. I will continue getting better. It’s in my head. People look at me and they don’t think I’m nervous…I think that they think I am. People like me, and like being around me. It’s ridiculous for me to keep feeling that I am not good enough

December 1st

Today starts the new month. It’ll be the first full month of implementing my financial budget plan, and work out/eating schedule. I’ve made all the little purchases that I needed to make to set myself up to get really ahead. I have to stay focused. I let my impulses rule me sometimes. This is a lack of discipline on my part. It’s about how badly I want it. How much am I willing to sacrifice to get what I want? I keep thinking that I deserve to do things and buy things when I need to just stay focused and pass on most of that stuff. I’m getting better but I’m still not where I want to be. I’m writing this now because it will help me to remember not to let up, that I have to say no to things that I really just want and focus on what I need. I want to get in the habit of being excellent. I am getting better and better at sustaining it. It has to become the way I live. I’m gonna do my best to stick to my plan this month.

Jung Psychological Typology

By Jung typology, I’m an ISTP; introverted, sensing, thinking, and perceiving. This typology comes with a certain set of characteristics:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ISTP_(personality_type)

Jungian functional preference ordering: 

Dominant: Introverted Thinking

Auxiliary: Extraverted Sensing

Tertiary: Introverted Intuition

Inferior: Extraverted Feeling

As an ISTP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.

ISTPs have a compelling drive to understand the way things work. They’re good at logical analysis, and like to use it on practical concerns. They typically have strong powers of reasoning, although they’re not interested in theories or concepts unless they can see a practical application. They like to take things apart and see the way they work.

ISTPs have an adventuresome spirit. They are attracted to motorcycles, airplanes, sky diving, surfing, etc. They thrive on action, and are usually fearless. ISTPs are fiercely independent, needing to have the space to make their own decisions about their next step. They do not believe in or follow rules and regulations, as this would prohibit their ability to “do their own thing”. Their sense of adventure and desire for constant action makes ISTPs prone to becoming bored rather quickly.

ISTPs are loyal to their causes and beliefs, and are firm believers that people should be treated with equity and fairness. Although they do not respect the rules of the “System”, they follow their own rules and guidelines for behavior faithfully. They will not take part in something which violates their personal laws. ISTPs are extremely loyal and faithful to their “brothers”.

ISTPs like and need to spend time alone, because this is when they can sort things out in their minds most clearly. They absorb large quantities of impersonal facts from the external world, and sort through those facts, making judgments, when they are alone.

ISTPs are action-oriented people. They like to be up and about, doing things. They are not people to sit behind a desk all day and do long-range planning. Adaptable and spontaneous, they respond to what is immediately before them. They usually have strong technical skills, and can be effective technical leaders. They focus on details and practical things. They have an excellent sense of expediency and grasp of the details which enables them to make quick, effective decisions.

ISTPs avoid making judgments based on personal values - they feel that judgments and decisions should be made impartially, based on the fact. They are not naturally tuned in to how they are affecting others. They do not pay attention to their own feelings, and even distrust them and try to ignore them, because they have difficulty distinguishing between emotional reactions and value judgments. This may be a problem area for many ISTPs.

An ISTP who is over-stressed may exhibit rash emotional outbursts of anger, or on the other extreme may be overwhelmed by emotions and feelings which they feel compelled to share with people (often inappropriately). An ISTP who is down on themself will foray into the world of value judgments - a place which is not natural for the ISTP - and judge themself by their inability to perform some task. They will then approach the task in a grim emotional state, expecting the worst.

ISTPs are excellent in a crisis situations. They’re usually good athletes, and have very good hand-eye coordination. They are good at following through with a project, and tying up loose ends. They usually don’t have much trouble with school, because they are introverts who can think logically. They are usually patient individuals, although they may be prone to occasional emotional outbursts due to their inattention to their own feelings.

ISTPs have a lot of natural ability which makes them good at many different kinds of things. However, they are happiest when they are centered in action-oriented tasks which require detailed logical analysis and technical skill. They take pride in their ability to take the next correct step.

ISTPs are optimistic, full of good cheer, loyal to their equals, uncomplicated in their desires, generous, trusting and receptive people who want no part in confining commitments.

hidden, private, has trouble describing feelings, not very affectionate, loner tendencies, lower energy, can be insensitive to the misfortunes of others, disorganized, messy, fears drawing attention to self, anti-tattoos, anti counter culture, not comfortable in unfamiliar situations, avoidant, rather unemotional, does not like attention, more interested in intellectual pursuits than relationships or family, hermetic, not complimentary, dislikes leadership, more submissive then domineering

Side note: apparently ISTP guys are a rare things, we are the “sparkly unicorn” of jung typologies, one of the rarest ones.

Astrology

Sun in Pisces, Moon in Gemini

The combination of your Sun sign and your Moon sign produces a personality with a gift for duality. The Pisces symbol features the fish swimming in opposite directions, while the twins of Gemini are looking in two different directions. Both symbolize the variable nature of this pairing, the tendency to go off in different directions, or face real mental binds and problems. You may feel one way, while logic tells you to go another way. Unfortunately, you don’t really possess the sort of logic that is normally associated with Gemini; the Pisces side of your nature will see to that. Variable, adaptable, changeable, and always a bit indecisive, you have the ability to play the chameleon. Strangely, this personality can alternate between the expression of flexibility and stubbornness, both badly timed. You will yield when you should be firm and hold your ground when discretion would be wiser than valor. One moment you will be sure that you want to follow a certain course of action; the next moment you’ll change your mind even though you may have already committed yourself to the first plan. What must be learned is that you should not talk until your mind is made up. You truly hate to hurt people and you will do everything you can to avoid doing this. For all of this, you invariable do end up disappointing some. You are loved and respected as a leader by those that work for you; but you are not nearly so likely to be appreciated and respected by your superiors because you are changeable and you’re stubborn when opposed. It is a good thing that you adapt very quickly to changing circumstances, for you seem to be the type of individual that is constantly facing difficult situations with which you must deal. The strength of this combination is the blend of emotional sensitivity and intuitive understanding (Pisces), and flexibility and intellectuality (Gemini). Keen mental powers and alert senses stimulate urges to always continue the process of learning. 

12 Houses

I’m going to put what each house means, what I am in that house, then what that means for that house.

Astrology Houses: 1st House

The first Astrology house is called The Ascendant (see astrology rising signs ) The key phrase for this astrology house is “I Am”. The zodiac sign on the cusp of this astrology house is called the rising sign. It is the most important house cusp and the most sensitive in the horoscope. It represents the individual’s basic point of reference toward life - his self awareness, how his experiences are assimilated, and how he responds to outside stimuli.

Any planet found in this astrology house is highly descriptive of the individual’s basic personality, character and consciousness.

This astrology house will give some indication of physical appearance and personal mannerisms

This astrology house also describes early environment & conditioning.

This astrology house is governed by ARIES and its ruling planet is MARS

Capricorn Ascendant:

A person with a first house Capricorn tends to be sensitive, timid, business-like, ambitious, controlling, reserved, practical, down-to-earth, duty-conscious, responsible, critical, and cold. Such a person may even face trouble while communicating in the early stages of his life. Such a person may even suffer from feelings of inadequacy. A person with a first house Capricorn is determined towards his goals and objectives. This determination usually helps such a person to overcome these problems easily. Such a person is also ambitious and does not settle down until he has achieved all his goals and objectives.

Money, position and power are very important to a person with a first house Capricorn. Such a person is usually reserved and this can be misunderstood as coldness. Such a person simply believes that he is responsible and is doing his duty. A person with a first house Capricorn may even face problems related to his knees. Any trouble with the knees is the outer evidence of an inner inability to be flexible. Such a person should also try to socialize rather than spending most of his time alone. Discipline, systematic endeavor, hard work, and patience are the characteristics of a person with a first house Capricorn.

The presence of a first house Capricorn states that a person comes across as restrained, conservative, practical and reserved, and feels obliged to project and maintain a good image despite external circumstances.  Always objective, such a person presents himself as a sharp business and career person. It hardly matters what particular difficulties life presents him with, for his biggest challenge is always he in himself. A person with a first house Capricorn feels dissatisfaction with some aspect of his personality or appearance and may develop conflicting behavior to deal with these feelings when they surface.

A person with a first house Capricorn is usually a workaholic. Such a person also wants that his colleagues and subordinates should also share the same kind of dedication towards work. Such a person can even be judgemental of others on various different issues. A person with a first house Capricorn may face some problems in his personal relationships due to these characteristics.Such a person is usually conservative in his actions and habits. Such a person is also very concerned with his status and prestige.

A person with a first house Capricorn climbs to the top in a very slow, sure-footed way, always staying on solid ground and taking his sweet time about it. There is much stability in his makeup and he rarely becomes discouraged, even when he is faced with frequent setbacks and roadblocks. Such a person has a great organizational ability and determination. Very straight-laced and proper behavior is sometimes a facade hiding a sense of insecurity or of feelings that such a person is unwanted or unappreciated.

Astrology Houses: The 2nd House

This astrology house deals with material resources and its key phrase is “I Have”

This astrology house will indicate the individual’s ability to earn money

This astrology house describes the individual’s attitude towards money and possessions - how these things are acquired, utilized and how obligations or responsibilities with regard to these are met.

This astrology house is governed by TAURUS and it’s ruling planet is VENUS

Aquarius in the 2nd

The presence of a second house Aquarius suggests that a person is impersonal about money and possessions. This is mainly because the second house is related to material values and security. It can thus be directly related to personal possessions and general prosperity. The presence of a second house Aquarius also suggests that the material factors will never rule such a person’s life. It actually deals with your sense of values and how you view your security. Factors related to the second house show such a person how he may spend and acquire his wealth. The presence of a second house Aquarius also signifies the importance of all the material assets in a person’s life.

A person with a second house Aquarius is usually creative and also original in his methods of earning wealth and other material resources. With this placement, it is common for individuals to have ups and downs in income. People with a second house Aquarius usually earn money through free lance methods and do not stick to a particular job. Income also comes from capitalizing on opportunities related to technology and modern science. A person with a second house Aquarius is usually spontaneous in his earnings. Such a person is impulsive and very nervous when he spends money. A person with a second house Aquarius is a risk taker and takes chance when it comes to finances. Such a person looks for unusual and inventive ways to invest.

Money and possessions are two things that are very unpredictable for a person with a second house Aquarius. A person with a second house Aquarius values his individuality and originality rather than valuing his material wealth and possessions. Such a person is always involved in some groups or organizations. These groups and organizations are the places from where a person with a second house Aquarius makes most of his money. Such a person is usually related to some kind of a corporate enterprise. This corporate enterprise becomes his main source of money eventually.

Since Aquarius is fixed air, we have a stubborn need to innovate, be original, and break forms in the house with Aquarius on the cusp. In this house you need to obtain new knowledge in order to break down old ideas. A person with a second house Aquarius achieves financial success by producing the most costly innovations in his field. Such a person also achieves success by getting involved with the most ingenious techniques in his field. 

Astrology Houses: The 3rd House

This astrology house deals with the faculty of conscious thought and it’s key phrase is “I Think”. This house represents the beginning of the mind’s unfolding, with it’s counterpart, the 9th house, describing the processes of the “higher mind” that go beyond practical, everyday mental concerns.

This astrology house relates to the conscious mind and how it perceives, experiences and discriminates.

This astrology house describes how an individual assimilates, processes and circulates information.

This astrology house is associated with how one communicates oneself- how one expresses himself and how one interacts on a mental level with the others in general, and more specifically, with brothers, sisters and neighbors.

This astrology house also has to do with short-distance travelling, the comings and goings which bring us into contact with people whom we influence mentally and by whom we ourselves are influenced.

This astrology house governs everything to do with modes of human communication- books, periodicals, music, dance, television, radio, speech, writing, etc.

This astrology house is governed by GEMINI and it’s ruling planet is MERCURY

Aries in the 3rd house:

A third house Aries gives a person strong ability to communicate forcefully with others. They are able to influence others with their communications skills. Their mind is active, alert and capable of making quick and right decisions. Despite of their ability to make quick decisions, they are prone to verbal outburst. Such people have independent thinking. They cannot be influenced or fooled easily on any subject matter. Although they are forceful communicators, they prefer not to waste their energy and skill on irrelevant issues. They have a special ability to express their feelings and emotions in a convincing way.

People with third house Aries are blessed with intellectual childhood. They are mentally competitive since their childhood and carry forward this trait very graciously. People with this combination are aggressive learners and always in search of new ideas. They are unsettled and are constantly on a move. They find it hard to stick to just one assignment or work for long. They need to learn to stay with the lesson until it is mastered. It is necessary for them to have a physical outlet to avoid mental aggravation, impatience, and verbal outbursts. Third house Aries makes a person risk-taker and an innate resistant to authority. The rebellious nature of the native with this placement creates conflicts with associates in the pursuit of their desires.

They have a strong inclination to build things or design them. Engineering and architectural work are best suitable for the people with third house Aries. They have a quick mind which helps them to bring visualization of a project. Such people are inclined to travel in regards to business. This inclination indicates the desire to seek out new places or investigate the old ones. All these activities helps them to make their travel enjoyable, especially when combined with business trips.

People with third house Aries find difficulties in building and maintaining relationships. Their relationships with relatives and neighbors can become strained at times and produce some form of friction. Their relationship statuses depend on their way of communicating things or communicating nothing at all. Their failed relationships are the outcomes of miscommunication or communication gaps since these people are not so good with tackling sentimental feelings.

Astrology Houses: The 4th House

This astrology house rules the accumulated environmental conditions we have created for ourselves, primarily on the domestic scene.

This astrology house relates to our home - what kind of home we have, our attitudes towards it and the people who live in it. It therefore has an association with things like food, laundry, household items, décor and family life in general.

This astrology house describes our roots - where we come from, our family heritage. Early environmental influences, experiences and conditioning can be gleaned through this astrology house, together with unconscious behavioural responses we have developed over the years and ingrained habit patterns we possess. The relationship with, and experience of, one’s mother is also governed by this astrology house.

This astrology house also rules land itself -the stage upon which the drama of life is acted out. And in terms of the physical body, the 4th house represents the final resting place within the earth.

This astrology house is governed by CANCER and it’s ruling planet is the MOON

Taurus in 4th

Fourth house Taurus produces a strong urge in a person to provide security to his family. They tend to create a comfortable space/home for their family members. They have a strong instinct to provide material pleasures and luxuries to their family. Such people make sure that their home is attractive and well insured. These people strive for stable home arrangements and life. Financial matters play a prominent part in the trend of affairs at home. They prefer to live in a place large enough to allow them to create a personal garden and provide a sense of intimacy with nature.  

People with fourth house Taurus will allow to put down roots and become as stable as society. They are easy going and can adapt to the environment without much hassles. People with this placement are subject to change their sudden and drastic nature. Taurus well placed in the fourth house determines the success of the marriage on the basis of their financial condition. It also suggests that people with fourth house Taurus will travel quite a bit during the last years of their life. Also, if the Venus is well aspected in the fourth house with Taurus, then the person enjoys a very pleasant, easygoing home environment, and harmony, serenity, and graciousness in later years.

People with fourth house Taurus enjoy the comfort of home. It becomes a social center for relatives and friends. They feel proud of themselves seeing the beauty of life and tend to surround themselves with beautiful flowers, natural things and artistic objects. Members of the family may fill the house with music and beauty. The early growing years of people with fourth house Taurus may have been happy and filled with love by those around them. Peace and harmony are two important factors that keep them fit and healthy. Peace of mind also helps them to express their creative minds freely. This placement indicates long, happy and a peaceful life. People with fourth house Taurus share tender relationship with their parents ans relatives. There is much love for home and family background. 

Astrology Houses: The 5th House

This astrology house is the house of creative expression and the “inner child”.

This astrology house relates to all the arts - dance, theatre, opera, music, painting, sculpture, design, acting, singing, creative writing, and so forth

This astrology house is also associated with other ways we might express ourselves - through things such as amusements, hobbies, pleasures, social entertaining, sport

This astrology house relates to speculations, such as those made through taking risks, like gambling

This astrology house also relates to love affairs - specifically the kind that are short term and based on romantic/sexual needs, those that are transient and mostly for pleasure alone, rather than any commitment.

This astrology house has connections with early education and teaching

This astrology house deals with children - specifically any children we might have and our attitude towards parenting them.

This astrology house is governed by LEO and it’s ruling planet is the SUN.

Taurus in the 5th house:

A fifth house Taurus makes a person romantic and attractive. Such a person is often attracted towards love objects. He is easy going in love making and usually ends up with more than one significant relationships. A fifth house Taurus emphasizes on love, beauty and harmony. Such a person possesses great attributes of getting along with the opposite sex. It is not at all hard for him to attract the other person with his charm. Factors that govern a person with a fifth house Taurus are romantic inclination and physical affection. The native with this placement may be a huge flirt, but people around him would not really mind his flirtatious nature and will rather enjoy his company. Optimistic and good nature will make him favorite in any party or social gatherings.

A person with a fifth house Taurus is artistic in nature. He is also inclined towards artistic things and is himself a very creative person. Such a person possesses a natural artistic ability leading to self-expression in various forms of arts. Self-expression may be shown in any form such as, romantic involvement, children, spouse or family. A person with a fifth house Taurus usually does good in theater, media communication, acting, writing etc. Any field that gives him freedom to express himself will be the most appropriate choice to pursue his career. A natural feel for art and flair for creativity will bring recognition from associates and seniors.

A fifth house Taurus brings a certain amount of luck in gambling and speculation. There is a tendency to be lucky while speculating, especially where money is concerned. Investment in practical and earth related projects will bring huge benefits. Such a person is very fond of entertainment and all pleasure-loving pursuits.

A person with a fifth house Taurus shares a gratifying relationship with children. Due to the loving nature, he is able to share close bonds with his children. Such a person usually has very strong and fixed views regarding his behavior which he tends to use in the upbringing of his children. He has to adore his off-springs, dote on them and sometimes spoil them. Such a person often makes a very understanding and broad minded parent which makes the children feel comfortable. A person with a fifth house Taurus is usually blessed with artistic, talented and passionate children.

A person with a fifth house Taurus is very romantic at heart. Courtship period is one of the best times of his life. This placement indicates an understanding and a truthful relationship with the spouse. The foundation of marriage is often laid on trust and honesty which makes it a success in the long run. All the emotional affairs of life are taken very seriously by the native. He has an intense desire of being into love and to love. 

Astrology Houses: The 6th House

This astrology house rules work, service and health.

This astrology house describes the type of work an individual is drawn to, or will actually be involved in, and their attitude towards it.

This astrology house relates to any special training or education, formal or practical, that the individual has received in relation to a particular line of work, even if the work has not become one’s “career”

This astrology house will describe the relationship one has with work any colleagues and superiors.

This astrology house has an association with service - actions and behavior that we express that benefit others in some way.

This astrology house deals with the physical body and health , specifically our attitudes towards our body, how we look after it and maintain it. It deals with food, diet, hygiene and health in general. It is also connected to clothing and general self-presentation.

This astrology house is governed by VIRGO and it’s ruling planet is MERCURY

Gemini in the 6th house:

A sixth house Gemini suggests a wide variety of work that the native will be able to handle. Such a person is well versed with handling technical details of his work without facing much problems. He tends to get deeply involved in his work. Too much involvement in work makes the native forget the basic responsibilities of life sometimes. The native with this placement is versatile and capable of handling too many works at one point of time. A sixth house Gemini  indicates that the native’s mental strength is greater than his physical strength.

A person with a sixth house Gemini is highly intelligent. His work provides him the opportunity to explore and develop his intelligence with each passing day. Such a person gets easily bored with repetitive tasks. He always seeks for challenges in work and possesses the capabilities to achieve them.  The work-place tends to be a hub of activity. The native is  likely to appreciate the mental and intellectual aspects of his work rather than the physical demands. He is agile and adjustable in nature when it comes to work.

A person with a sixth house Gemini likes to work with his mind and so is interested in fields related to scientific research, business or finance. He is good in making clear and concise reports and possess the ability to choose right solutions for professional challenges. Such a person possesses a natural versatility that gives rise to the ability of the native to tackle more than one situations simultaneously. The native with this placement usually do well in a profession involving travel. Such a person is prone to change his jobs frequently as a result of boredom and dull routines. He is always in search of challenging work which provides him mental stimulation.

If Mercury in the sixth house is afflicted, then health issues usually involve the nervous system and anxiety can arise through an overly analytical mental nature. Mercury can also give speech problems to the native e.g stuttering since it governs speech and communication.  A person with a sixth house Gemini is prone to suffer from nervous breakdown or hypertension. He may experience tightening of muscles or grinding of teeth while sleeping. Such a person tends to be in a whirl of activity most of the time which often leads him to a state of exhaustion. In this case relaxation and constant rest is necessary. Overall health of the native with a sixth house Gemini is generally good. He should avoid being in any kind of stressful situations to prevent nerves or mental illness. The lungs are the most sensitive part in the native’s body and can easily get affected, so smoking should be avoided.

Astrology Houses: The 7th House

This astrology house describes our relationships with others.

This astrology house is associated with close personal relationships . It specifically deals with and describes the marriage partner and our attitude towards committed relationships. This house reveals what kind of partner we seek, or are attracted to.

This astrology house concerns all direct close personal relationships with others and reveals the nature of other people’s reactions to our own actions.

This astrology house also relates to contacts with the public, legal affairs, and the forming of contracts and agreements, together with commerce, business arrangements and business partnerships.

This astrology house is closely related to the workings of karma, or the law of compensation. What individuals do to the world, the world does back to them. Any planets in this house will describe how this karmic pattern plays itself out.

This astrology house is governed by LIBRA and it’s ruling planet is VENUS

Cancer in 7th house:

A seventh house Cancer indicates native’s desire for domestic comforts and a peaceful family life. Such a person is very serious about marriage and relationships. he is loyal and dedicated towards his partner. He makes sure that he chooses a right partner for himself. Marriage and close interpersonal relationships are essential for the native and provides him a sense of security and social approval.

A seventh house Cancer suggests numerous emotional traumas which can lead to considerable heartache. The native must strive not to let his emotions rule his intellect. He will be able to deal with his emotional problems only if he can cultivate his intellectual powers. This position is favourable for partnerships since the native is responsive and considerate of the problems. Partnership with an individual who can provide a firm foundation to fulfill one’s ambitions will turn out to be beneficial.

A person with a seventh house Cancer seeks a partner who can give him psychological and physical nourishment and support he requires from others. Moon in this placement reflects sensitivity, feelings, emotions, vulnerability and nurturing instincts. The feelings of the native may also reflect changes of feelings, extremes of sensitivity, and moodiness. If the Moon in this position is afflicted, then the native can be too possessive about his partner or enter into a relationship that is smothering and emotionally immature. Such a person is an “I don’t let go” type of a person who prefers to settle down in a relationship for life. The native focuses on familiarity and predictability in relationships over spontaneity and surprise. He stays by his partner through all the challenges in life.

A seventh house Cancer indicates emotional attachment with the partner. Such a person may also be attracted to a partner who is emotionally dependent on him. He tends to get attracted to someone who is moody and changeable like him. This kind of a relationship is very sensitive, nurturing and full of changes. The native with this placement seeks a motherly care and emotional support by his mate. Marriage may fill deep emotional needs for both of them. Thought the native is loyal and dedicated to his partner, fluctuations in married life is also indicated. The bond between the two tends to strengthen in the marriage as time passes.

Astrology Houses: The 8th House

This astrology house is the house of joint resources, as it’s polar opposite, the 2nd house, is the house of personal property.

This astrology house deals with corporate money, inherited money or property, insurance and taxes, money that results from combined effort, or money that belongs to the marriage or business partner.

This astrology house deals also with the dissolution of material structures back into energy. Therefore, it concerns death of the physical body, and the practical matters associated with it - funerals, wills and legacies.

This astrology house , because of its connection with subtle energy forces, deals also with matters that pertain to the metaphysical, esoteric, occult and some aspects of science such as higher mathematics and atomic physics.

This astrology house is also concerned with internal mystical experiences and the realms beyond the five physical senses. It is associated with the principles of self-regeneration, transformation and rebirth.

This astrology house is governed by SCORPIO and it’s ruling planets are MARS and PLUTO.

Leo in the 8th house:

An eighth house Leo makes the native energetic and enthusiasm towards business and large scale investment. Such a person is also mostly inclined towards the physical side of romance. Money making becomes a game that the native enjoys playing again and again. Money is not an important factor for him. He rather enjoys winning anything that is desirable or even needed. He possesses a sense of self-worth and knowledge of how to get what he wants out of people and life in general. A person with an eighth hose Leo is very generous in his basic nature. He seeks control in business activities and money matters in joint or business finances. This position usually promises a long life.

An eighth house Leo indicates that the heart or spinal cord may be the cause of native’s death. Death can occur from any of the various forms of heart disease such as increased cholesterol, hear attack etc., since it is the most sensitive and affected area in this position.  However, proper exercise and diet could determine the well being of this vital organ. The spine and arteries are also vulnerable and any kind of disease or injury could prove fatal.

A person with an eighth house Leo is likely to get rich through inheritances from all angles. Such a person is able to get legacy or inheritance through immediate family, relatives, and distant friends are all potentials for the inheritances. Legacies or inheritances could come from close family members, or far away relatives. As a matter of fact, Leo in this position provokes a natural desire to gamble. If not controlled, this desire can lead to wastage of inheritance in the long run. As the addiction of gambling will increase the native will be left with less or no money in the later phase of life. A person with an eighth house Leo is likely to receive monetary benefits from long time friends or business associates or from friends who he has helped in the past. Such a person will live a healthy and vital life and will dominate the moments in the passage of life.

As far as business partnerships are concerned, the native is less fortunate in terms of gaining money through partnerships or marriage. The native tends to be generous towards family, friends and with those associated with the career or profession. He should be extra cautious with this generosity since business partners are likely to take advantages of it. 

Astrology Houses: The 9th House

This astrology house deals with various things associated with the “higher mind” , together with travel .

This astrology house deals with all codified collectivistic thought structures, usually embodied in philosophy, religion and religious institutions, legal systems and laws. And institutions of higher learning - schools, colleges, universities.

This astrology house relates also to the teaching and publishing professions, though which spiritual and philosophic precepts are passed onto succeeding generations.

This astrology house will describe what kind of education we have had, and our attitude in general towards learning and gathering knowledge. It also sheds light on personal beliefs and opinions relating to religious, spiritual or philosophical matters.

This astrology house also deals with the knowledge gained through long-distance travel, whereby a larger portion of human culture can be experienced by an individual. Therefore this house governs travel of the body as well as the mind, together with foreigners and foreign affairs in general.

This astrology house deals with the collective mind, as opposed to the individual mind, so is therefore associated with universal consciousness and social conscience.

This astrology house is governed by SAGITTARIUS and it’s ruling planet is JUPITER.

Libra in the 9th house:

A ninth house Libra suggests native’s significant interrelationship between outward appearance and moral code. Outer appearances of the native reflects innermost attitudes. Such a person always tries to display the good side of his appearance and crude things put him off. The native is balanced in his views regarding life and tends to have a strong sense of justice on serious matters. The native tends to have a philosophical outlook on life and may have the knack for adjusting to many changing conditions with little disturbance towards his well balanced nature.

A person with a ninth house Libra has a considerable inclination for education, travel, law and philosophy. Cooperation and a strong sense of social justice are shown in this placement. The public demeanor is harmonious and easygoing. The native possesses an open-mind throughout his life. He admires the opinions and views of his guardian’s philosophical principles, but is not fully satisfied by them. He eventually formulates his own ideas and opinions. The personal desire for travel is not too intense and the native tends to take it lightly without making much of a fuss.

A person with a ninth house Libra is interested in teaching and converting others to the principles and laws that he believes in and that more or less follow established traditions. The native may sometimes feels caught up in a sense of history, which adds to his own stature and impresses others. There may be few opportunities for long distance travel or visits to foreign countries. Spouse is usually the one who determines or plans the travel for the native. On the other hand, the indication is that the native will not have much desire to travel the world anyway. But will not even leave nay opportunity if the conditions are right. 

A ninth house Libra indicates a career on partnership with someone. Such a person is opposed to being self-employed or working in a large corporation. The native is often successful at negotiating with impressive people in power or older people. 

Astrology Houses: The 10th House

This astrology house deals with the individual’s base of operation with respect to society, rather than ones own personal sphere, ruled by it’s opposite (4th) house.

This astrology house deals with the carrying out of one’s responsibilities before the world and concerns professional and public reputation, honor or dishonor, career, and one’s relationship to political and business power structures.

This astrology house reveals how one rises above, or falls below, the social and economic station that one was born into, as indicated by the 4th house.

This astrology house relates to ambitions - how ambitious one is, and how ambitions are tackled and manifested. It also indicates whether an individual will incur favour or disfavour from those in authority. It concerns the kind of employers one has and the nature of one’s relationship with them.

This astrology house will indicate the degree of organization, self-discipline, hard work , and patience, that the individual is willing to exercise in order to gain social , career or business positions.

This astrology house also has an association with government, their power structures, and people in other positions of high power.

This astrology house is governed by CAPRICORN and it’s ruling planet is SATURN.

Midheaven Scorpio:

A person with a tenth house Scorpio has an urge to be successful in this world. He is determined and does not let anyone or anything come between his way to success. Such a person’s success or failure totally depends on his moral values. In case the Scorpio is negative, a person with a tenth house Scorpio has an urge to be successful even through wrong means and deeds. This eventually destroys such a person. On the other hand, Pluto in trine or sextile with Saturn will definitely aid one to achieve one’s goals over time and with a lot of hard work. Mars trine Pluto with Scorpio on the Tenth will give endless vitality and a never-say-die attitude towards the accomplishment of any and all career and life goals. A person with a tenth house Scorpio is also able to revive a dying business or an enterprise.

A tenth house Scorpio indicates that a person should choose a medical or a dental career. He should not leave any opportunity to excel in life. But, these areas are the best that a person with a tenth house Scorpio can choose. A tenth house Scorpio gives a person the necessary drive and determination to successfully pursue any career. Even if such a person is not able to pursue these specific careers, he can still pursue any job related to hospitals. A career in the medical field is the most appropriate for a person with a tenth house Scorpio as such a person will be looking towards helping people if he is morally sound.

A person with a tenth house Scorpio is usually at the disposal of the command of a person who is also able to make significant changes. Such a person also surrenders in any situation of gravity which he thinks is important. A tenth house Scorpio indicates that a person can be an excellent agent and an employee. Such a person acknowledges others as his masters till he is capable of displaying some leadership qualities. A person with a tenth house Scorpio is determined towards goals and objectives. He has an urge to be successful in life. But, he does not disobey any orders given by his superiors until he has an authority to do so.

A tenth house Scorpio indicates that a person will be wanting to make his mark in the world. He will be intense and determined throughout his career and professional life. Such a person is always driven towards success and will be able to impress everyone through the abilities of his mind. A person with a tenth house Scorpio should try and look for some research work in which he can dig out some important information that might be useful in solving some major problems. Such a person is able to project himself to the world in a very powerful and confident way. A person with a tenth house Scorpio is inventive. Not only he is inventive, but also determined to succeed in his life. This can actually be a deadly combination as such people have a never dying hunger for success. 

Astrology Houses: The 11th House

This astrology house is concerned with group creative expression, as opposed to the individual creative expression of its polar opposite, the 5th house.

This astrology house reveals the individual’s capacity to form group associations, make friends, communicate, and work on ideas of universal concern.

This astrology house will describe how a person goes about these things, and the type of any group, friends or humanitarian cause they will gravitate towards.

This astrology house is governed by AQUARIUS and it’s ruling planet is URANUS.

Scorpio in the 11th house:

A person with an eleventh house Scorpio is usually a very loyal friends. Such a person is also passionate and can be a revolutionary. A person with an eleventh house Scorpio does not need a very large number of friends as trust is more important to him than just numbers. Such a person is usually popular because of the intensity that he brings to the whole group. A person with an eleventh house Scorpio never tries to impress people. If he does something, it is because he believes in what he is doing has a good cause.

A person with an eleventh house Scorpio could find himself attracted to groups that aren’t in the mainstream. It’s not his job to support the status quo, but to question it. Such a person does not have any problem in seeing defeat and then rise again from the ashes. A person with an eleventh house Scorpio praises people who are willing to give their best in every situation. People who hold back are usually prone to such a person’s criticism.

A person with an eleventh house Scorpio usually has friends who are intense and aggressive. Such friends are also influential and powerful. A person with an eleventh house Scorpio will have few friends. But, these friends will close and trusted. Such friends will also share your point of views. Such a person is not very outgoing and tends to keep his social affairs to himself. A person with an eleventh house Scorpio never accepts weak individuals as friends.  The Scorpio connection here sometimes produces associations with people who are not reliable, those who tend to manipulate and play games, and it may be necessary from time to time to evaluate associations.

With an eleventh house Scorpio, a person acts as a catalyst for friends and helping them face hidden aspects of themselves. Such a person also plays a role in the transformation of his friends’ lives. A person with an eleventh house Scorpio is a powerful member of the groups. Such a person tends to surround himself with dynamic, aggressive, and powerful friends, who can handle many of the difficult jobs he is too reserved to tackle. A person with an eleventh house Scorpio has private source of agents to carry out his purposes or wishes.

A person with an eleventh house Scorpio finds it difficult to form genuine friendships. Such a person is burdened with an over-abundance of jealousy, and this is the crux of his problem. If such a person eliminates the feeling of competition from his friendships, most of his problems would be relieved. Such a person’s  hopes and wishes are centered around his professional advancement. He aspires to be rich and famous, and all his dreams are of his impending glory.

Astrology Houses: The 12th House

This astrology house deals with the individual’s psychological health in relation to others, as well as the health and growth of society as a whole - as opposed to the individual health and service, revealed in this house’s polar opposite, the 6th.

This astrology house will show a great deal about the individual’s characteristic emotional responses and habit patterns. The 12th house rules the subconscious mind - the accumulation of unconscious memories ,emotional experiences and attitudes.

This astrology house will reveal any emotional blocks, addiction to unconscious habit patterns, and automatic responses that may not be suitable to a given situation. These patterns may be based on irrational, unconscious, pleasure-seeking or pain-avoiding responses.

This astrology house will also reveal that department of life in which the individual is most likely to deceive themselves.

This astrology house is also associated with mysticism and higher states of consciousness, specifically those that involve the image-making capacity of the mind. Artistic creativity is also strongly linked to this house.

This astrology house, on a more mundane level, also governs prisons, hospitals, mental institutions, religious or spiritual retreats, and places of solitude, where the working out of karmic problems can be achieved and contact with the inner realms of being is possible.

This astrology house is governed by PISCES and it’s ruling planet is NEPTUNE

Sagittarius in the 12th house:

The presence of a twelfth house Sagittarius suggests that such a person tends to bottle up his good sense of humor, intuition and his capability of mental growth. Such a person has a very good sense of humor and hence, people usually enjoy his company. A person with a twelfth house Sagittarius also has a good intuition and insight. Such a person tries to take everything on the lighter side and does not take anything too seriously. A person with a twelfth house Sagittarius is not even afraid to make fun of himself and laugh at his own mistakes. Such a person loves life at it comes his way.

A person with a twelfth house Sagittarius has a good intuition and should practice to listen to it. Such a person may be amazed to see the guidance that he receives once he masters this practice. Such a person should work against being too narrow-minded by allowing his thoughts to expand into areas he may now regard as too far-out, unfamiliar, or foreign to his present concepts. A person with a twelfth house Sagittarius should always remember that there is a big wide world which is full of new ideas to explore. Such a person should allow himself the privilege and joy to be gained through discovery.

A person with a twelfth house Sagittarius usually works behind the scenes. Such a person has all the dimensions worked out even before anyone has an idea about what you are doing. The higher ideals represented by this sign are locked away and kept hidden from view. A person with a twelfth house Sagittarius is secretive about his religious and philosophical matters. Such a person is cautious and calm on the outside. But, when he gets on safe ground or alone, he becomes humorous, joyful, and enthusiastic. Such a person finds it difficult to drop his guard in front of others as he has been cautious since his childhood.

A person with a twelfth house Sagittarius should be extremely careful of his close friends as there is a possibility that some of them may turn against him. This possibility will get stronger as such a person achieves more and more success. A person with a twelfth house Sagittarius should be very careful as his friends would not turn against him openly. They would rather want to destroy him by working behind his back. These people are jealous of such a person’s position, and they are ready to do anything to lessen the strength of that position.

A person with a twelfth house Sagittarius usually feels as if he is on a spiritual quest. As a result, such a person finds many gurus or teachers throughout his life. Such a person ultimately understands the fact that the greatest wisdom comes from within him. Such a person is philosophically oriented once he is removed from the business world. Life is actually the hidden support guiding and aspiring the thinking of a person with a twelfth house Sagittarius. 

I also took a survey…these are the results:


It’s possible that you have tremendous knowledge, gained through the analysis of books, movies, games, and scientific research. You probably know far more than men who are more successful with women, but you can’t seem to find opportunities to display your intellect and talent. One of your major obstacles is your inability to take action, which prevents you from accomplishing your social goals.
You can occasionally be found at the back of a social event clutching your drink and perhaps looking busy. You sometimes feel afraid to get out on the dance floor, or even to speak to strangers. You may watch your friends cavort on tables or drink body shots with women while you quietly nurse your drink. Often, you find yourself standing on the sidelines watching others have all the fun. 
Maybe there are times when you can’t even muster the courage to get out of the house just for the opportunity to meet that special someone. You are generally considered shy. Fear of rejection and validation keep you in your invisible Plexiglas box. You have a strong desire to be liked and accepted by others, but you have a tendency to not put your self on the line, thus closing your self off to the very thing you so desperately seek. 
There you are, sitting on a park bench as life passes you by. Your mind races constantly measuring the temperature of the situation to see if it’s OK yet to dive in and take a social swim. Meanwhile, as you are sitting there, at least a dozen beautiful opportunities pass you by. At least you get to admire their backsides. As Grace Hopper said, “A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.” Time to start living your life to the fullest.

Stop being a researcher and start being a participant. Abandon the sideline reporting and get in the game! Let other people observe you in action for a change. You need to get out there and start meeting people to cure your lonely heart. 

The Fortress of Solitude works great for Superman. But you will need to leave your house to share your brilliant intellect and charismatic knowledge with people. Without help, no one will ever know spectacular guy that resides inside of you. All that you have to offer is waiting on the sidelines of life, when it needs to be out there on the playing field. Single and lonely is no way for a great guy like you to continue to live your life. 
You are going to need to work hard for what you want. Sitting on the bench won’t cut it. You have been overanalyzing procedures when you needed to act. You need to BE ACTIVE! Get out there! Test yourself. You are an impressive person but you have trouble showing it. You are also going to have to learn how to express the gifts of your life to others, in an effort to show them how interesting you truly are. At times the training may seem difficult, but the reward is priceless. 
If you don’t build an attractive identity and learn to meet people, your loneliness will overcome you, instead of you overcoming your loneliness.

Like what the fuck…how in the world could this website possibly know this about me? I’m not nearly as discontent and lonely as it makes me out to be, but I guess with the information that I put into the survey that is what they concluded. I also don’t just sit at the house by myself but the rest is so accurate that I honestly feel exposed, like they know more than they should…the whole nursing the drink on the wall thing really hit home…that is me every time I get nervous at a party. This is where I am, now at this point in my life. I’m this clusterfuck of stuff. Everything I wrote above is how I am, according to Jung and the stars. I want self mastery so badly…I can live with having something out of my control happen to me, but not making the most out of the things I can control will be something I know I will regret. Understanding myself, as I am now, not the way I was in the past, will help me to figure out what I need to do to achieve what I want to achieve in my future

One quick reminder….EAT

For fucks sake

Every week you tell yourself you will start this week

And by Wednesday, you’ve already fucked it up

It’s pathetic really,

Are you going to do it?

Or keep fucking putting it off?!

A better you is only a couple more ups and downs from your jaw away…

Man up.

Even if it’s hard

And you want to eat something not on your list

Grind through it

And do it, knowing it will lead to a better you

It’s like 5 in the morning but I felt the need to write something empowering down. I went to a four stage music concert tonight, and I feel so fucking good about myself right now. I was getting looks, danced on, and talked to all night. I smelled good as fuck, and I wore my fly ass BBC hoodie. I felt good as fuck. I know I’m handsome. Girls think I’m cute. When I don’t act like a spaz and like I know it, people notice. It felt good tonight. My ex sent me the most scrumptious pic tonight and she’s texting me and making me feel like I’m the man. She likes me. I hope when I read this again I can remember the high I felt when I was hooking up with her and when she said she wasn’t going anywhere and called me daddy. Nails in my back and everything. She’s so fucking sexy. Her voice turns me on and what she tells me and how she’s making me feel right now is perfect. I’m on like cloud 10. I fucking worked her perfectly and it felt amazing. I can be myself around her and when I do girls like it. She loves it. I am just being myself and she likes me and she tells me. She makes me feel like she wants me, and I love it. I live for that. I’m an intensely passionate person. She closed off on me and I snapped. It was so stupid. I never should have made her feel the way I did. I won’t ever do that again. I shouldn’t have broken up with her but things are going well now. She forgave me for what I said. We are taking things slow…we are cool, there’s no rush, although I must say I am really impatient. I want affection constantly. I will proudly wear my hickies even if the old bitch at work keeps telling me that it’s tacky and that I should stop letting her do that to me. Lol I am winning. I also have to document that while all this ex fixing is going on I have the girl that I liked before her staying at my house right now…what a fucking crazy situation. We haven’t even messed around at all. I’m literally just helping her out with a place to stay because she randomly and I mean randomly out of nowhere asked if she could stay. I have a big heart. That’s pretty selfless of me to allow her to stay at my house right? Lol. She still likes her ex anyways lol. She has no idea that the dude she’s talking to is a scrub…and a player…you can’t like someone for their potential. That’s not enough. What if you get let down? That’s too big an investment to make on something that isn’t even there. It’s better to be single and focus on yourself than to try to bring someone up and save them. My girl/ex has something going for her..she is reaching her potential and that’s someone who is worth it to me. I have a lot going for me. I’m reaching my potential too. I’m taking care of business. She is making me better…she contributes, she pushes me, she makes me happy. I am just letting my mind run, thinking about this has it going nonstop. Like she has a banging body, she’s smart, her family is important to her, she’s working hard towards her future, she puts effort into making me feel like I’m her guy, gorgeous face, especially her eyes and lips, real hair, she’s black…I get excited when I think about her. She is a bad bitch lol. My heart hurts for this other girl…she honestly deserves better than what she is getting. I can’t lie to myself…I have feelings for her still. I haven’t done anything though. Thoughts are just thoughts if they stay in your head lol. I’m high on life right now… I just need to not spread myself too thin chasing pleasure and continue getting my shit done. This is the first time in a long time my love life is clicking. I’m a simple man…I work/study/do school during the day and I want to do things that are constructive, pleasurable, or both in my free time. I have like an insatiable desire for physical affection…I want to be with someone who is supplying it. I only have so much free time…I don’t want to put effort into someone who can’t do that. It is what it is lol. I want to be with someone who gets that and contributes to my pleasure/happiness in my free time lol. That someone will get my time and money and effort. That could be anyone I’m attracted to that is giving me effort back. I’m loyal though…she’s getting it lol things are smooth we’ve reached an understanding. I like her and I’m talking to her. I’m still single though…the other girl has no idea that if she showed me she wanted my effort I’d try…she is someone that I see or at least did see as being worth my effort. Lol for now she gets nothing from me. I’m way better than that dude. My ex didn’t take very long to realize I’m better lol :)
So this post was pretty pointless but I feel good thinking about how things are going. No one is going to read this lol. My random thoughts are done for now

I honestly am struggling to consistently workout and eat correctly. I eat whatever I want, when I get hungry, and by playing tennis every day and being an overly active person I still burn more energy than I consume. I am not gaining weight the way I could if I really stuck to my plan. I need to be more consistent. Eat six times a day:

Breakfast 

Snack 1 before morning work

Lunch after morning work ends 

Snack 2 during tennis

Dinner when I get home and I have cleaned up from tennis

Snack 3/Post workout

It’s so fucking simple lol…all I have to do is make sure that I do this and I will gain weight. I am skinny because I haven’t being doing this, because I eat like a bird. I have a fast metabolism, and I play tennis every single weekday, running around the court and smacking balls. That burns a lot of energy. I have to put more effort into this. My body needs more energy to grow lol. I can do this lol. 

I just finished grocery shopping, laundry, and recording my budget/finances. I’m so fucking serious about this. I can’t keep spending 20 bucks at Panera Bread every day and eating candy and doing whatever I want to in terms of eating. I need more discipline in that area of my life. I am making it to work on time, working out, and still finding time to hang with friends and give attention to my girl(s?lol). If I eat better, things will be going great. I start my Masters this week. NO one knows what I’ve been doing, I’ve been grinding, working 7 hours a day at tennis and Newks, and making money stringing racquets and working on music. I hang out with friends at night and I really haven’t been getting enough sleep because of it but I’m able to do it because I’m a boss like that. 11 to 8 every week day. My spare time is so precious, I read and get twisted and go places and I am enjoying every bit of it. I’ve figured it out. I know what I have to do. I just need to do it now. I’m going to start accumulating money and working and grinding. I cannot get distracted from this. I have things to do and I know what they are. I do them, then I can have fun. It’s working. I don’t even care if anyone notices or sees. I should keep this to myself, and just keep working. I am in the zone. If I can sustain this work, I can really be excellent. I believe it. I see my body changing with the work I’m putting in already. I have a list of books to conquer and so much knowledge to gain. I know this probably sounds gay, but I enjoy reading. I am excited to get through these books. One per week is my goal. I think that’s enough writing for now lol 8)

per·pet·u·al

 adjective \pər-ˈpe-chə-wəl, -chəl; -ˈpech-wəl\

: continuing forever or for a very long time without stopping

: happening all the time or very often

el·e·va·tion

 noun \ˌe-lə-ˈvā-shən\

: the height of a place

: an act or result of lifting or raising someone or something

: a place (such as a hill) that is higher than the area around it

Perpetual Elevation, as an idea, is the continual act of lifting or raising someone or something. That someone would be me. I must endlessly continue to elevate until I have reached that place, that level that is higher than where I am now, the place that I am trying to get to. 

Actualization is on my mind. What do I have to do to become the person that I envision myself being? I can reach it, I can reach that place. I’m going to start writing about what I want to achieve, and how I should achieve it. This is a good start.